NOT SHIYING, NOT

Honestly, i don't really like to hate anyone but you, you and you. Annoying shits, piece of shit, fucking shit. I'm sorry but i've to be honest this time. Stop texting or calling me, or whatever to get attention. 

#1, I hate people who do not know how to respect me.

#2, I hate people who annoys me when i'm really tired, or maybe i'm having some so called "PMS."

#3, I told you so many times, and you don't listen, fuck off you.

#4, I hate people who not punctual always, and with the suck reason, nah!

#5, I hate people talk to me like he or she knows everything.

#6, I hate people who lies to me, like i am a silly people, nah i ain't that stupid.

#7, I hate people thoughts i care for them, but dream on.

#8, I hate people who talks behind of me or talk bad about my best friend. Go and bang wall, please?

I really do not like to hate anyone in my life, it's trouble for my own but not this time, this year, this moment. You know why? I'm giving up to be a kind person, not anymore. I'm tired because this world is not fair at all, this is reality. Face it, girl. I have to face it, Serena. I'm like not the old me anymore, i'm sorry peepos. But those who i care, i'd care in my heart.

To you people, 

I don't know should i join you back again or not because i'm really in mad with your attitude. Your fucking annoying attitude. You thought i'm really that stupid? You thought i care about you? No, dream on. Please grow up a little bit, little bit is enough you know? Your attitude just fucking annoying, annoying like shit. Don't be so proud of yourself just because you know how to sing or pretty or a lot of fans. Nah, FANS you mean? I'm also good in singing too ok? I think better than you like more than 10times. Sorry to being so lansi but i have to show you, i'm really mad, this time. Ok, i shouldn't be so mean. Sorry, anonymous. 

_________

P.S, I'm having pms.

I think?

PENANG WITH THE TRIO ♥

 

20/6-23/6

Went to Penang with Crystal and Koyin, which is Koyin's place. Yeah, the TRIO's trip.

20/6 - Thursday

First day, reach there around 6pm, damn early right? Thanks to Koyin, the good car racer. Know why? We managed to take our dinner there, Penang steamboat with Koyin's friends, HuiSim and Junn, YUMMEHH! Then we went back to rest. oh wait, we went to LOHAS, which is a tea shop like chatime. We did take a lot of photos but all with Koyin's sister's MAC. The smart Koyin, as i said. Hahahaha. Luckily, there's some of the photos we took is with her cousin brother. I can get it soon, and those with Koyin's sister, need to wait end of July? SAD. Then of course we took supper everyday too, CharKoayTiaw. Her cousin brother, SuZhou fetches us. Her cousin brother is also a nice guy, he and Koyin together plan where to bring us go, the big folks us.

Supper: 

21/6 - Friday

Koyin fetch us to Penang Island, oh yeah, she is actually staying at Bukit Mertajam. Bukit Mertajam is the capital of Central Seberang Perai, Penang. It is commonly known as BM among its locals. Bukit Mertajam is located 29 km away from George Town, the capital city of Penang. Bukit Mertajam has the highest population and one of the most developed area in Seberang Perai. Breakfast with Koyin's family, the food is so nice. Then, Koyin has to drive us to Penang Island, and her sister go with us too. Her sister, KoShin, the face i just wanna pinch because she is so chubby. First, we went to buy biscuits to bring back as souviner. Then we went to Gurney and we went to shopping a while to accompany Crystal, she is having a make-up competition soon. Wish her luck! Alright, back to topic. Then we went to the new place, Paragon. Which haven't really complete. Next, after under the so called "sunny day," we went to eat MOOCOW. After that, Koshin drove the car to the Ferry area, hmmm, nice experience. 

After everything, we went to eat our dinner with Koyin's family. Her dad is so funny and her mom is so petite. Like i said, Koyin did not let her mom eat. Bad girl. Hahaha. We went to eat Bah Kut Teh, really different from ours. Then we went to Auto-City, which like a market pun. Walk walk shop shop, hungry again. And its supper again, at Raja Uda. Tomyam maggie soup, delicious!

 

22/6 - Saturday

 

Early in the morning woke up to get ready yo! Went to eat SouMian, nearby KoShin's secondary school. Then SuZhou fetches us to Penang Island again, and KoShin also go with us. Hmm. Went to the atas place, and art streets and a lot a lot. And we did take a video in instagram but idk what Koyin tertekan something and it gone. She is so so sad, nvm. Then we went to Beach Ferrenghi, a very nice place. As you can see in my instagram, i did took a video there. Omg, its like a MV. Hahahah pretty me. And you can see Koyin's instagram too, she also took a video of all of us. After that, we went to Mugshot, which a new concept cafe. Down there, which the cafe look. Nice food too, i swear. Will go there again the next time i go Penang. Then we went to the art streets, actually not much left, i mean the art thingy but we still enjoy a lot. And i get very hungry nowadays, so we went to eat cendol, charkoaytiaw again and snacks. And we went back to BM. We played, we talk and of course i sleep a lot in the car during the whole trip.After a while, we went to another place, quite far i think? To eat CharKoayTiaw and something that i forgot the name. And Koyin's cousin sister, YinTea drives us there. I tell you, i never regret to go Penang. This is so mother-father amazing place. Wanted to go second round supper but Crystal said want to sleep, ishh. So yah... No second time CharKoayTiaw, disappointed. Nevermind, i would like to go again during my long holiday, oh yeah.

23/6 - Sunday

Time flies, its time to go back. Before we come back KL, we went restaurant to eat with Koyin's family. Then, SuZhou drives us back because he is going back to study too. And in car, Crystal and me did not sleep. We all talked, laughed together the whole journey, teeheeee. A little sad to leave, i really wanna stay there. The feeling there, not same, this is serious shit. Thanks to Koyin, SuZhou, YinTea, HuiSim, Koyin's family. It was a great and fun trip to Penang, really thanks a lot. I'll go there soon, again. Hahahah there's a lot of photos but i can't get it so soon, have to wait. Be patient, i'll upload to facebook when i got it. 

xoxo

________

P.S, I MISS PENANG.

SELFISH, IMPATIENT AND A LITTLE INSECURE.

Life's been up and down, up the hill, down the road. It's not about why am i want to emo at this hour, it's just life. Life's suck? No, not really. Honestly, life without you, i'm so much better. I don't know why, don't ask. Heheh. But sometimes, life without you, it sucks. Shhh... Don't ask. Just let me crap whatever i want. 

People thinks that i'm a happy-go-lucky girl, but know what? I am not. If you understand me, you'll know when is the real smile or laugh. It's not that i like to pretend, or even act? Stop telling me that i should get a trophy of acting. It's not that i am kind of two-face person. It's all about life, the reality. People nowadays, they ask us to "BE YOURSELF" in a good way. When we really want to be ourself, nahhh... They start to talk behind us. They start to judge us, every single move. This is life, humans. Fuck you, seriously. First of all, if you don't want to see our true face, don't tell us "BE YOURSELF." When we show our real self, of course humans are always emotional. Why not? Don't tell me that you're not. If you are not, ok, because you're kind of cold blood person. You can just hide yourself in a box, your world. 

Secondly, if you did not know how to respect me, please don't expect anything from me. I won't respect you if you do not know how to respect me at first. Not that i'm a small gas person, it's just that who will respect the person who don't know how to respect us at first? Tell me, as if you can. If you want my reply, can, i will but you wait. Before that, i'm not this type of person because my mommy told me, we must accept everyone beside us, no matter who. No matter you, he, she, shemale, lesbian, or even gay? Hello, i'm sorry to say. That was the old me, old ShiYing. I would not want to be that kind or can even say stupid anymore. Honestly, i somehow think that i'm a little stupid last time. Oh-my-geeesh. Cannot believe i was that kind, oh my mother-father gentlemen. 

Everyone grows, everyone change. Accept it, i've change. I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. So, understand? Stop judging me anymore, no more judging.

____________

P.s, This life is what you make it. 
No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth.

But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.

Stay positive!

IT'S NOT ABOUT HOW LONG, IT'S ABOUT THE MOMENTS.

Sometimes I really feel that i've to go hospital for check-up. 

I, think too much. Yeah, MUCH. Anyway, i bet it's not only me doing this. Right? Am i right? I don't want my blog to be this emo, freaking emo shit. But i have no choice. I have to shit this out. I hate me, myself. Omg. I think everyone hates me too? Okay. Start thinking again. Stop, shiying. STOP.

Let's back to everything i feel/felt from last year till now. It's not about why, how, where or when. It's just the matter of time. You don't have the right to say.... "HAIYO, 1year ONLY LAH". Come on, this is me. I take it serious, i take everything very serious. Why not you put your legs in my shoes, and feel it? What if someone tell you that? Come on, think of it how you'll feel. Hurt? If yes, then that's right! It's not because of 1year or what, the thing is when you're in the same environment with him for like 5years lol. Seriously, why can't i choose not to let go? Although i've been trying very hard to let go but it's just hard, ok? Not that i don't want to try or move on. And wait, i will and i know i'll find someone better. Better than him like more than 10times. 

*i'm not saying anyone, but if you did say so this to me. Please, stop.*

He isn't perfect. He isn't handsome. He isn't loyal. So WHAT? Know what? I'm in love with his attitude, consideration? So, shut up. But honestly, i'm slowly letting go everything. I start to accept the fact, the reality of life. Friend, is nothing. Partner, is nothing. And i choose to keep in touch with my close friends, of course my family is my everything. And i love myself more than everyone else, i'm sorry for being selfish. I just have to be selfish, to make sure i'm happy and enjoy my life. Nahhh... That's me, being me. 

I'm trying to move on, anyway. Am very happy with my life now because i have a lot of awesome peepos beside me. My family, my relatives, my close friends. And hey you, please leave me alone. Don't take me for granted. Let's be close friend, that's what i want. See how close we are now? I'm so happy because we are not stranger anymore. We are more than friend but less than a couple. Enjoying my life right now, fuhhhh. Thanks! :)

___________

P.s, it's not about how long,

it's about the moments.

UP & DOWN.

A letter to me, myself:

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. 

How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

 It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

 Take a step back. Look at yourself. You are human. You are beautiful. you are so beautiful. And you can be anything. You can be everything. Do not hate because someone broke your heart, or because your parents split up or your best friend betrayed you. Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it’s time. Don’t hang on to painful memories just because you’re afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren’t worth remembering. Stop taking things for granted. Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you know what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Share something wonderful. Make something beautiful and then destroy it. Meet new people. Make someone’s day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to its full potential. Just live. Let go of all the horrible things in your life and just live. And one day, when you’re old, look back with no regrets.

 Over thinking ruins you… 

ruins the situation, turns things around, makes you worry, and just makes things worse than it actually is.

Learn to make yourself happy.

________

P.s, It’s hard to grow up in a world where you never feel like you’re enough.

MY BITCH, KOYIN'S BIRTHDAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KOYIN. You're a great great friend that i've ever known. 

I wish you happy always, stay strong and stay healthy.

We did suprise her before her birthday, it was like super advanced birthday celebration. Because as you know, she's from Penang. Penang lang, cakap hokkien banyak nice. I likey the slangggggg. HAHAHAHAH. Ok, back to topic. After steamboat we went to a cafe, and then we celebrate. And we chit chat chit chat, time fliesssssss. Time to back. And i hope you did enjoy your big big day. 20years old, old enough? *wink* Don't you feel like slapping me? Nahhh. Hand too short, cannot.

You're a kind of person who wouldn't show your emotion on your face. Seriously, i don't know how you do that. But remember, whenever you're down, come to me. I'll be your listener always, never stop. You're one of my bitch, ok close friend in college. We knew each other not that long, but seriously, you're those kind of friend i want and i like. I'm not lesbian, but iloveyou. Heheh.

We, the trio. Never leave you aside, because we love you.

Cheers! Hope you did enjoy your big day and love the present we bought you :)

______

P.s, happy birthday,

my bitch.

LOVELIES IN THE HOUSE.

 

Back to blog. 

It's been long time i never blog about my life.

Here we back to this place :)

That day, our chef of the day, Crystal.

She is seriously good in cooking. 

Omg. Butter milk chicken, always in my mind.

Thank you, my bitch.

 

Fuck you, bitch. 

Classes without you, i hate you.

But we'll wait you come back to us. Nyehehe!

Know what, although we have not much time spend with each other.

But we'll at least meet once or twice in a week.

We rock, the trio.

I love you all, my bitches!

And now we have another two peepos to join with.

They're awesome, i tell you.

They will never fail to make me smile or laugh. 

Omg. I just can't stop laughing whenever i'm with the two new guys.

HAHAHAHAH. Thanks for everything.

__________

P.s, enjoy everything in life!