SELFISH, IMPATIENT AND A LITTLE INSECURE.

Life's been up and down, up the hill, down the road. It's not about why am i want to emo at this hour, it's just life. Life's suck? No, not really. Honestly, life without you, i'm so much better. I don't know why, don't ask. Heheh. But sometimes, life without you, it sucks. Shhh... Don't ask. Just let me crap whatever i want. 

People thinks that i'm a happy-go-lucky girl, but know what? I am not. If you understand me, you'll know when is the real smile or laugh. It's not that i like to pretend, or even act? Stop telling me that i should get a trophy of acting. It's not that i am kind of two-face person. It's all about life, the reality. People nowadays, they ask us to "BE YOURSELF" in a good way. When we really want to be ourself, nahhh... They start to talk behind us. They start to judge us, every single move. This is life, humans. Fuck you, seriously. First of all, if you don't want to see our true face, don't tell us "BE YOURSELF." When we show our real self, of course humans are always emotional. Why not? Don't tell me that you're not. If you are not, ok, because you're kind of cold blood person. You can just hide yourself in a box, your world. 

Secondly, if you did not know how to respect me, please don't expect anything from me. I won't respect you if you do not know how to respect me at first. Not that i'm a small gas person, it's just that who will respect the person who don't know how to respect us at first? Tell me, as if you can. If you want my reply, can, i will but you wait. Before that, i'm not this type of person because my mommy told me, we must accept everyone beside us, no matter who. No matter you, he, she, shemale, lesbian, or even gay? Hello, i'm sorry to say. That was the old me, old ShiYing. I would not want to be that kind or can even say stupid anymore. Honestly, i somehow think that i'm a little stupid last time. Oh-my-geeesh. Cannot believe i was that kind, oh my mother-father gentlemen. 

Everyone grows, everyone change. Accept it, i've change. I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. So, understand? Stop judging me anymore, no more judging.

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P.s, This life is what you make it. 
No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth.

But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.

Stay positive!